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The Price is Right

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“Wasn’t your hair brown when I checked you in,” the woman behind the desk asked?

 

“I dressed as Walkiria for your Halloween Bash,” I replied to the green skinned woman.  I kind of like the red hair and I thought I’d give it a day or two to see how it suits me.”

 

“It was a great party wasn’t it’,” she smiled?  “And the red hair suits you.”

 

“Thanks.  I had a great stay.  But the music has stopped, the dancing is done, and it’s time to pay the bill.”

 

“The experience does go by quickly doesn’t it Ms. Dawson,” the Orion woman replied as she opened an unexpectedly thick folder and laid it on the desk between us.

 

I’m a bit surprised in myself as to how at ease I am here.  A month ago I did not believe in extra-terrestrials, and here I am talking to one while surrounded by a dozen others.  Add in the fact that just weeks ago I was kidnapped by another group of aliens, taken on board their ship, and then told to wear their magic suit and do their bidding or they’d ‘space me’.  I think I am handling things pretty well.

 

“Now you left a cash deposit in lieu of a credit card.  Do you wish to use that deposit for payment, or do you prefer to utilize your card?”

 

“Cash please.”

 

“Of course.  It is more discreet than having it on your Amerivisa isn’t it?”

 

“Indeed it is,” I smiled, hiding the fact that I have no credit cards under my alias, and my personal credit score is probably a 99. 

 

“Now your bill is broken down into several invoices,” she explained as she removed the top sheet of paper.  “It is less confusing for your own, as well as our record keeping.  The first one is for the use of the Cathexis.”

 

“The what,” I ask?

 

“The Cathexis.  Where the Id rules,” she explained.  “You might be thinking of it as the holo-suite?

 

“Of course.  I was unfamiliar with that reference.:

 

“The first line item is for the use of the basic facility” she continues, putting a check mark next to the dollar amount.

 

It’s a significant amount of money, but I knew this going in, and I’ve got millions in a locker at the bus station at the moment.  It’s not going to bankrupt me.

 

“Then there is the fee to customize the holographic imagery for the Bardak program,” she explains. 

 

“Okay,” I reply trying to keep a calm look when I see the amount.

 

“This figure is for the custom program for your fantasy.  Kidnapping, interrogation by your captor, the ravishing, the rescue, the gentle lovemaking by your hero, etcetera,  etcetera.”

 

“That is a significant number,” I note.

 

True, but had you selected something from the Cathexis library, this line item would be zero, as it would have been covered in the standard rate.  Also, should you wish to re-live a variant of the Bardak fantasy later, it will be at a significantly lower price.”

 

“It’s sort of like going to the movies, isn’t it,” I quip?  “The ticket price get’s eclipsed by the concession stand bill.”

 

“ Indeed,” she says.  Moving on to the next invoice.  It is the fee for two standby medical technicians and equipmement.”

 

“Why the EMTs,” I interrupt? 

 

“It’s a precaution for high risk fantasies such as yours,” her voice patient and her smile friendly.  “You were subjected to some considerable physical and psychological stress, and despite all precautions one cannot guarantee under those conditions you wouldn’t have a cardiac episode, a panic attack, or other negative reaction.” 

“Logical,” I answer.  Do I look that fragile, I think to myself?

 

“Then there is the fee to have two phallus’ created, and convert the hologram program to integrate with the Bardak and Goliath characters.”

 

I thought your brochure said the Cathexis uses holograms, force fields, and tractor beams to simulate an environment?  It said the experience was indistinguishable from reality?”

 

“Ordinarily this would be true.  But your fantasy required a challenge those three elements were unable to meet?”

 

How so?”

 

“Well to put it discretely, you ummmm wanted to feel General Bardak’s ahhhh  shall we say ‘big General’ inside you, correct?”

 

I feel my cheeks flush as I reply,”yes.”

 

“And Goliath took certain….liberties?”

 

“I get the picture, I say embarrassed.

 

“There is no means for the suite’s systems to go inside you without things getting… messy.  Which is bad for repeat business.  So the extra large phallus and hologram integration allowed you to have a more fulfilling experience.  Emphasis of the filling,” she said with a smile.  I might add there is no need to be embarrassed.  I cannot name names, but there are a good number of men and woman in polite society who share your interests in their own fantasies.”

 

“Well I’d hate for things to get messy,” I reply trying to to change the subject as as a shiver goes down my spine just thinking of just what ‘messy’might mean regarding my lady parts.

 

“Which brings us back to your bill,” the green complexioned woman said transitioning smoothly back to business.  “We have the cleaning and restoration fee for the suite, the standard service fees, and finally the monitoring and safety fee.”

 

“Any questions so far?”

 

“No,” I answer.  “It’s a tidy little sum isn’t it?”

 

“But worth every penny,” isn’t it?  Now moving on to the final invoice, for the room you rented and your attendance at Paudraic’s Getaway Resort’s Halloween Bash.  By the way, you made for a fine looking Walkiria.

 

“Thank you, I reply, bracing myself for the final financial onslaught.  But I have to admit she is right.  It IS worth every penny.”

 

 

Paudraic’s Getaway Resort  belongs to :iconpaudraic: located in :iconangel-fallsda: and is used with permission.

General Bardak is the property of :iconatomskmaster6: who also appears in the story arc with permission.

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© 2017 - 2024 Blaaderunner
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Explanoite's avatar
Oh man, this made me laugh.